While hiking down along the border early this morning, I saw a Muslim extremist fall into the Rio Grand River. He was struggling to stay afloat because of all the guns and bombs he was carrying. Along with him was a Mexican who was also struggling to stay afloat because of the large backpack of drugs that was strapped to his back. If they didn't get help, they'd surely drown. Being a responsible Texan and abiding by the law to help those in distress, I informed the El Paso County Sheriff's Office and Homeland Security. It is now 4 PM, both have drowned, and neither authority has responded. I'm starting to think I wasted two stamps.
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